never make a defense or apology before you be accused

you're going to die young because of the 30 cigarettes a day you've smoked since you were fifteen, and you're going to hell for the life you took, you're fucked

last night I saw Constantine, and despite the usual criticism that keanu reeves gets, I really liked it.

the story was good the effects were great and there wasn’t a little kid kicking the back of my chair the whole time. I had a really great time.

the best part was the supporting cast, especially tilda swinton. the quote for this entry was hers and she delivered the line dead perfect. she was also given the second best part in the film, Gabriel, wings and all. the last movie she had that premiered in Texas was Orlando, and I happen to be one of the five people in Texas to have seen it, it was an okay movie, I mention it because she played a guy in that movie too.

the best character was Lucifer, played flawlessly by peter stormare. a part he seemed to be born to play. Fargo, 8MM, Minority Report all flowed into this part and he played it like a fiddle, with a smile even.

now this is where I’m going to break with the rest of the thinking world, I think keanu reeves is an okay actor. I don’t think he should do any more shakespeare, although he did a decent Don John. he makes movies I like all the way back to Babes in Toyland. his seemingly bad choices have only benefited me in the long run, and I’m hoping he never gets better at picking scripts.

stranger than fiction

tom sizemore was arrested, again, for failing a drug test, again, by using a prosthetic penis to fake the test, again.

reminds me of the old saying, if at first you don’t succeed: try, try again.

that said, I am amazed that he tried such a thing to fake a drug test. the oddest thing was that he has tried this before, as though this was something that junkies usually try, when they want to beat a drug test. took me a little by surprise.

sizemore’s choice of roles might have been a tip off that he wasn’t all that stable, he played that gnutty cop in Natural Born Killers a little too well.

why’d the hell’d he think that he’d get away with it.

the weight of discs

I did an official count of the dvds I own this week, and the count as it stands tonight is 152 dvd movies, not including tv shows or anime. I used to have a very long amazon wish list, mostly dvds, but I have trimmed it down to 29 and almost half are books. I consider this to be an improvement, I have a bit of an addiction to dvds. I love them, the ease of use and small size, and the fact that for the most part they are not too expensive. I haven’t paid more than $40 for a dvd, and that wasn’t even for myself.

so come friday I’m planning to pick up a couple more: The Village, Johnny Mnemonic and probably Onmyoji as well.

Wigfield so far

a couple of weeks ago a bought a book on an impulse, read about it online and then picked it up from b&n.

Wigfield has been a pretty good read, lots of good characters and a good subplot, but unfortunately it’s lacking a main plot. or at least one that I can figure out.

It was written by amy sedaris and stephen colbert, the cracked minds behind Strangers With Candy, one of the better tv shows of the late nineties. I loved the show so I picked up Wigfield. I don’t regret the purchase, just the lack of plot.

my suggestion: camp out in the b&n around the corner, get a white chocolate mocha from the coffee shop and read the book. if you like, it buy, if not enjoy the coffee.

razzle dazzle

we have a tradition in my family, every year one of my aunts prints up a ballot of the oscar picks. we choose who we think will win in ten categories, put $5 into the pot and wait for the results. the winner gets the cash and the losers get crapola.

I’ve never won and it sucks ass, so this year I’m starting a new tradition: the razzies.

the rules are simple, vote for the worst of the worst, send your picks and 5 jelly bellies of any flavor but cotton candy. winners get to split the jelly beans. the losers still get crapola, but at least it doesn’t cost $5. entry is open just to my family this year, but next year will be open to anyone willing.

(the razzies are trademarked, as well they should be, the razzies website is linked, but the movies are not linked, there are just too much horrible to link for just one blog)

25th Annual Golden Raspberry (RAZZIE®) Award Nominations

WORST PICTURE
ALEXANDER (Warner Bros.)
CATWOMAN (Warner Bros.)
SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2 (Triumph Films)
SURVIVING CHRISTMAS (DreamWorks)
WHITE CHICKS (Columbia/Revolution)

WORST ACTOR
Ben Affleck
JERSEY GIRL and SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
George W. Bush
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
Vin Diesel
CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
Colin Farrell
ALEXANDER
Ben Stiller
ALONG CAME POLLY, ANCHORMAN, DODGEBALL,
ENVY and STARSKY & HUTCH

WORST ACTRESS
Halle Berry
CATWOMAN
Hilary Duff
CINDERELLA STORY and RAISE YOUR VOICE
Angelina Jolie
ALEXANDER and TAKING LIVES
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
NEW YORK MINUTE
Shawn & Marlon (The Wayans Sisters)
WHITE CHICKS

WORST SCREEN COUPLE
Ben Affleck & EITHER Jennifer Lopez OR Liv Tyler
JERSEY GIRL
Halle Berry & EITHER Benjamin Bratt OR Sharon Stone
CATWOMAN
George W. Bush & EITHER Condoleeza Rice OR His Pet Goat
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
NEW YORK MINUTE
The Wayans Brothers
WHITE CHICKS

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Carmen Electra
STARKSY & HUTCH
Jennifer Lopez
JERSEY GIRL
Condoleeza Rice
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
Britney Spears
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
Sharon Stone
CATWOMAN

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Val Kilmer
ALEXANDER
Ah-Nuld Schwarzenegger
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAZE
Donald Rumsfeld
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
Jon Voight
SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
Lambert Wilson
CATWOMAN

WORST DIRECTOR
Bob Clark
SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
Renny Harlin and/or Paul Schrader
EXORCIST 4: THE BEGINNING
“Pitof”
CATWOMAN
Oliver Stone
ALEXANDER
Keenan Ivory Wayans
WHITE CHICKS

WORST REMAKE OR SEQUEL
ALIEN v PREDATOR (20th Century-Fox)
ANACONDAS: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID (Screen Gems)
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAZE (Disney)
EXORCIST 4: THE BEGINNING (Warner Bros.)
SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED (Warner Bros.)

WORST SCREENPLAY
Oliver Stone, Christopher Kyle and Laeta Kalogridis
ALEXANDER
Theresa Rebeck and John Brancato & Michael Ferris and John Rogers
CATWOMAN
Steven Paul and Gregory Poppen
SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
Deborah Kaplan & Harry Elfont and Jeffrey Ventimilia & Joshua Sternin
SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
Keenan & Shawn & Marlon Wayans and Andy McElfresh, Michael Anthony Snowden and Xavier Cook
WHITE CHICKS