what are these, so wither’d, and so wild in their attire, that look not like th’ inhabitants o’ th’ earth, and yet are on’t?

I feel Dirty

last night I watched three Dirty Harry movies in reverse order. I think my favorite was Magnum Force, watching Otter get blown away was the best.

I had never actually sat down to watch a Dirty Harry movie before, not that I dislike clint eastwood. The Outlaw Josey Wales is still the best western ever made as far as I can tell, I just never got the gumption to see three long cop dramas. to my surprise the supporting cast was outstanding. in addition to Otter from Animal House, there’s Hutch from Starskey and Hutch, Spencer from Spencer for Hire, and Johnson from the Robocop movies.

prime examples of the ‘70s style of cop flix, sex and violence and I of course love gratuitous nudity and blood, I have a new found respect for the Dirty Harry series. go rent the DVDs and watch them in random order.

good times

random

in a related story, I don’t have cable. not real cable, and the cable I have is controlled by the person that pays for the cable. my sister. my sister does not watch movies on cable, so by extension I no longer watch movies on cable. that is except for the weekend, when I drive an hour to spend a few days with my parents. they have perfect cable, every channel and a few that come in from mars I’m convince.

that is how I saw the Dirty Harry movies, and how I saw a few others. the first was The Rundown. I will admit to anyone reading this I have a fascination with bad movies, I own all three American Pies, Harold and Kumar, Trancers and Omega Doom on DVD and I plan to by a few more bad DVDs. having admitted that I also think the rock and seann william scott are pretty good in the right movie. the rock was great in the Scorpion King and looks like he’s going to be okay in the Get Shorty sequel. and scott was a riot in the American Pie movies and anyone that tells you differently is too damn pretentious. so The Rundown turned out to be the right kind of film, just the right amount of violence and humor, the only downside was christopher walken. usually a great actor, his last few movies have been crap for him. Kangaroo Jack, what’s the deal?

the second movie was Zone Troopers. tim thomerson is a national treasure as far as I’m concerned. Volunteers and Fear and Loathing would have been completely different flix with out him. Zone Troopers is not his best, but it is in his native genre, action/scifi. thomerson plays the sergeant of a troop of WWII u.s. soldiers caught behind enemy lines when an alien crashes and is captured but the nazis. the Americans rescue the alien and beat the germans. what actually made me enjoy this film was that is was basically a reunion movie for the cast of Trancers, minus only helen hunt. and one of the characters gets to punch hitler in the nose. any b-movie fan would love this for the bad acting, missing plot and horrible special effects. one minus is that there is no nudity, nothings perfect.

lastly I saw the last ninety minutes of Open Range. it was long, Wyatt Earp long. I guessed it would be, but there wasn’t anything else on. my dad and I had a discussion about Wyatt Earp and Tombstone, both bio-pics about the same guy, both out in the same year, one was good, one was long. can you guess which was which. Open Range also started with two strikes against it, keven costner and annette bening. I have, for some reason, missed what the world sees in bening and I haven’t liked a costner movie since Silverado(my dad says his best performance was in the Big Chill, draw your own conclusions from that). so strike three was length.

mother fucker's like MacGyver. no, the mother fucker's better than MacGyver

this tuesday season one of MacGyver is coming out on DVD. I have already set aside thirty bucks for it and I’m going to buy it right after work, not that I think there’s going to be a run or anything.

more reason to hide the report card

a bill in the Texas state Senate would require every school to include a Body Fat Index of the student on her/his report card. as if the fat kid needed it in writing, the jock asshole that bullies him every day in PE takes care of that already.

what’s next, how many days in a grading period the poor kids runs home crying because he doesn’t fit in? or how his clothes aren’t cool enough? or his hair? obesity is a problem, but so is childhood depression, and having the Body Fat Index on the report card isn’t going to help either.

what happened to our express lane?

he killed a woman while driving under the influence of alcohol. I thought we were supposed to be for the death penalty is this state? why the hell are his balls still attached?

he must be white, rich and republican.

Kinky ‘06

he’s got my vote, it never counted before why should it now.

no more cool space pictures

once again showing their lack of even the base intelligence that made fish walk on land, the white house has decided the most successful space program since the moon landings is to be allowed to crash into the pacific.

bush sucks big floppy donkey dick

dude, you're totally into spinal piercing!

turns out bush is into satan as well as jesus, way to be well-rounded